Drawing Inspired by Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye
Brown eyes filled with hope. I have a child’s heart as I mediate on a world filled with possibilities. I cannot say that I always believe in the words “be realistic” because imaginations that overtake my mind are very real to me. I’m quite stubborn, a tad bit rebellious and possess a curious mind that no one can control.
I’ve been told that I’m hard to figure out. I’m sure I’m not the only one, no one can know someone fully because in reality there are plenty of things that I have not quite figured out about myself. I know all my life I desired to take the road less traveled as Robert Frost wrote. I used to come up with projects and ideas that seemed impossible, therefore making some school projects a lot harder than they needed to be.
Like most 20-somethings, I’ve hit very low points that made me question certain decisions I’ve made or did not make. “Why didn’t I…? Should’ve, could’ve, would’ve…? What the BLEEP did I do with my life?” Like many 20-somethings, life have given me the uppercut, body slam, a karate chop and a few missing teeth, yet, like many 20-somethings, I’m told to carry-on.
Carry-on, get over it, “at least you’ve…”, “it could’ve been worse…”, “why didn’t you…”, “why did you…”, “you’re so ungrateful…” I meet them with, “I…don’t…like…you…”. But I hear other 20-somethings going through a similar depression, to which I can’t fully understand. Maybe there are actually certain levels and stages to this quarter-life crisis. I must confess, the other sadness I often meet with me sucking my teeth and saying, “you be iight!” But in reality, we all will be.
This moment stuck with me. I went to church for prayer a few Mondays ago. It was me, two other 20 somethings and a woman (didn’t receive permission to share this story so no names!) When the woman prayed she told God how inspired she was by these young women who were just so in love with Him. She told us about how when she was our age she and her friends would wonder about who’d they’d marry and sometimes thought that Jesus Christ will return before they get married and have families. She’s now married with children in their 20-somethings. From that day on I was left at great peace. Everything is in God’s Hands and He knows just what He’s doing. My career, my potential husband, my life is all under His control. So I can carry-on and I’ll be alright.
My brown eyes continue to brighten with hope as new experiences and opportunities begin to present themselves. I realized how real God is and slowly but surely I am beginning to pursue my passions. And this hope will not leave me alone…and I won’t let it.
“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” –Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV