I wish there was a mountain on top of my heart where my soul can scream FDR famous words, “There’s nothing to fear but fear itself.” My soul’s voice would echo throughout my body; my heart would earthquake, my mind would shine, and every part of me would be ready to do the work.
About a week ago, I watched “Chit Chat: Dream vs Mommyhood, Shonda Rhimes & More” from the YouTuber BronzeGoddess01(Shawnda Patterson, but for the sake of this post, I will stick to her YouTube name). I’ve been pushing myself to try to listen to sermons and motivational videos in the morning but this particular video caught my attention. Now, I’m not a mother and honestly, I didn’t think it would relate to me because of the title (although she clearly stated, “Whether you’re a mother or not I think you can still resonate with the overall message…”).
There was a lot of things that were said in the video that touched me but what stood out to me the most was when BronzeGoddess01 mentioned her how her oldest daughter carries around a journal and said she wanted to be a writer “just like mommy.” I realized how many excuses I’ve made to not do things that I dreamed of-yet afraid of. I also thought about how I tried to motivate myself saying, “I’m single and have no children so I really don’t have an excuse….” yet still nothing. How ignorant am I to ignore the mothers who chased their dreams for them and their children? How ignorant am I not to think that I can do the same?
I reflect on the things holding me back. I think in my heart, “What if it’s not in God’s will?” But through my mouth I tell people, “You know, you can’t put God in a box like that! Remember, Romans 8:28, ‘And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose’(NIV)!” My body says, “I worked all day and I’m DRAINED! I don’t want to be drained tomorrow so…I’ll do it all later.” My mind believes, “I NEVER HAVE TIME!” As I scroll to Facebook or daydream of…if my life ONLY gets better I can do this or that! Sometimes my mind enters those dark spaces that nurtures past failures, feeds on pessimism and starves hopes and dreams. So, with all that is at work, I automatically say “no” to or avoid everything that I might like.
So, here’s my challenge. I will pursue those goals, not just daydream, not yet listen to people talk about them- I. WILL. PURSUE. THEM.